I start fights for attention. I “end”/”threaten to end” my relationship so he will fight to keep me. I dwell on the negative rather than the positive because I know the positive will end. I am insecure because my heart tells me I’m not physically the standard he’s thrown in my face. I am threatened by other females because I feel when one goes away, another surfaces. I’m never “happy” because It’s a feeling designed for failure before it even sets in fully. My pride is too big to allow myself to shut up and listen sometimes. I get super angry or really sad when I’m accused of doing something I didn’t or lying. I’m jealous of the positive attention other females are give because I deserve it. I feel I put my all into my relationship and get very little in return. I think if I can point out reasons I’m with my significant other and they can’t, I’m not that important to them. I “dig” for things not to start a fight, but because I know it’s there and I know he’s lying. I don’t feel good enough, because if I were then he wouldn’t need other females. I find myself boring because he doesn’t call and can’t hold a conversation with me.
He says I always find something wrong. Nothing is ever good enough. Ok well I was just being nice and sent your bum ass money, but I’m irritating you? Could someone shine a light on what I did wrong in this situation because I fail to see it. Man I’m over this situation
Gosh I’ve been stressed lately. Garrett and I are back on good terms. He was going to move back and now he’s not. When I say I don’t care, I mean that I want him to do what’s best for him and I’ll be ok with it. I don’t want him in a situation where he’s left with no place to stay. I know I come off cold hearted and he thinks I don’t care when he’s homeless, but the thought of him sleeping outside kills me. It’s sometimes easier to be angry then upset. That’s what I did. I regret that and I wish I had been more supportive. It’s been really bothering me. I love him a lot and I just want him to be ok. Now that he has things figured out I can relax
Wanting me and wanting to be with me, are not the same.
Making time for me and giving me time, are not the same.
Making it work and “making” it work, are not the same.